15 Comments
Jan 17Liked by Bryan of California

Yes, kudos for sharing. Your story is exactly what needs to be told. I went through so much of the same but different growing up, a young confused angry girl who had to many male predators slinking around me. I tried to look like a boy when I was a freshman, even had a flat top haircut, wore black baggy clothes. I was angry and miserable and became promiscuous with boys, which was a way to weirdly deal with it all. In my late teens early 20's I went through my maybe Im bisexual phase which didn't go far and didn't last. If it were today I would be affirmed and shoved towards transition and medicalized. Thats horrifying to me, I was just trying to figure out who I was and at 52 I still am changing and growing and figuring out who I am but in the perimenopause phase of life. Ive been hoping more non religious progressive minded people would speak out against this whole thing, little by little we are. I want to come out as Gender-Critical to my progressive community but geezo its a bit daunting, and Im not one to shy away from controversy. Im known as an outspoken activist in my community but the gender thing is a whole different social beast. My friend came out as gender critical to our progressive community a few years back and was demonized, ostracized and had to go to therapy and was suicidal because of how horribly he was treated. He's the one who's taught me so much about this topic and I'm beyond grateful he has.

So okay Im gonna do it, Im coming out today.

Thanks for the inspiration.

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Jan 18Liked by Bryan of California

Often, those of us that have come across the term gender-critical have done so because we have done some research and have tried to understand the nuance and where this sudden rise of so many young-people thinking the source of their (usually very common place insecurities) are going to magically disappear by changing sex. It's also a term that the trans-activists have successfully demonised.

I don't court unecessary controversy (it's a wast of energy), I privately identify myself as gender-critical, I educate myself on the arguments. I sit back, observe and only share with people I feel are well balanced and intelligent and have not been indoctrinated by this nonsense or have simply been a bit too 'lazy' to look into the issues in any depth and have therefore happily followed along like sheep - not really understanding what they are agreeing with and not having knowledge of the very dark-side of all this.

I truly believe in the end common-sense will prevail. What is a tradgedy is in the meantime it will be some of the most vulnerable in society that will end up as victims in all this.

I'm about to begin training to be a psychotherapist and in some areas this nonsense of taking a purely 'affirmative' is being demanded by some professional organisations - some of this is inexcusable ignorance of waht is happening and some is being driven by people with an agenda that are hungry for power, status and money.

Let's keep fighting the good fight.

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Jan 23Liked by Bryan of California

Well I did it, I came out to a progressive email group about being a gender critical, liberal, progressive, atheist, environmentalists, feminist. A group of around 300 people in response to a horrible bill HR257 in Utah. It was a compassionate and empathetic post defending protected spaces for women, protecting women sports etc. Read it to my mom first and she was quite proud. Just got my first response from a guy and it was long, apparently I’m a bigot, and what I wrote was hate speech. Here I go, into the storm.

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Jan 17Liked by Bryan of California

Hi Byran, I've come here from the PITT share - couldn't reply in that mess of comments, my word some truly awful replies amongst the decent ones. Figured coming to the source would be better!

I'm a bisexual woman, mid 40s who grew up in an abusive dysfunctional family and I was sexually abused. I was a proud tomboy as a kid that was sometimes confused for a boy by people, but never once wished to be one. I will always have a strong slightly butch side, but can also femme it right up if I feel like it. I've never fit in on either side, and neither should I or anyone honestly. I loathe how repressive this cult is, making people only see in black and white, one way or the other - classic trauma based thinking.

At the core of this cult under the subterfuge, obfuscation and lies is the deeply hideous reality of butchering children and vulnerable adults and I cannot stand for it. I've done enough psychotherapy to heal from my past to know that lies always lead to harm.

I don't have kids or a partner, have been a 'lefty' since birth, a liberal, creative, music obsessed, free spirit that gets vaccinated. Ha. Breaking stereotypes everywhere I go. I wish I could come out publicly as GC but I know the backlash would ruin my career and life, and there's no bursting bank account to keep me safe so I stay underground.

That's the thing about this nightmare - the majority of the sheep following the screams of 'TERF!!' don't even realise what it's really for. They just think it's the 'worst person' ever. Not plain old 'women don't have dicks' 'men don't have vaginas'.. ah.

Thanks for speaking out.

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author

Great reply. Thank you. I just got the last Covid jab and still have a healthy distrust of authority in whatever guise. I see my therapist at noon and afterwards, for some reason, I now feel an urge to listen to Bikini Kill all afternoon.

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Haha brilliant! Was just wearing my Bikini Kill tee last night! 🤘

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Jan 17Liked by Bryan of California

How would or could you talk to a 21 year old male who is convinced he’s “trans” He wears women’s clothing everywhere and people are confused, disgusted, bewildered, but don’t dare tell him how ridiculous he looks - unless they are an “ally” or part of the LGBTQ community and then everything he wears is perfect even if it’s stained or has holes or he looks absurd... It feels like the emperor’s new clothes... People who use his female name and pronouns make him feel like he’s passing, but he doesn’t pass...

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Very brave of you to post this, Bryan. I am glad you now seem able to deal with your former demons.

I am a psychiatric social worker, and have been in practice for over 35 years.

The “trans” phenomena is astounding to me.

I have been outspoken about it, and am ashamed about my profession caving to their political agenda. It is ludicrous that we have not delved into the deeper hidden trauma and/or spectrum disorders that contribute to this problem. Weirdly enough, because of my stance, I am now listed on “The Conservative Therapists” website.

It is insane that we have devolved to this, but here we are.

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Jan 18Liked by Bryan of California

Hello Bryan,

I am so grateful for being able to read stories like this. I grew up in a foster family and was sexually abused by the foster father. One of the first people I trusted enough to confide in was my older foster brother (older by six years) who is gay. I absolutely idolised him as a child, he was warm, funny, dependable and so different ot everyone else in the family, I always felt safe with him and that he had my back. I remember I naively asked him if the reason he was gay was because he had also been abused by his father, I was about 13 at the time. There was no reason for me to ask or make the connection, he remained silent and never answered me and I dropped it and forgot about it.

As I got older and post university I looked back on that moment and felt a bit ashamed fro thinking it or asking it, but there was some kind of instinct in the source. I always had lots of gay friends male and female and so many of them were victims of sexual abuse and I still remain today curious about the link and what is the best way to support a person.

I don't feel I can comment on the prevalence of genuine ' gender dysphoria' and if there are those that are truly born in the wrong body and don't feel the need to. But there absolutely should be a safe space where victims of sexual abuse can explore how that has affected the safety they feel in their bodies and how that has affected how they experience their sexuality. Once upon a time, a person could speak openly about such things to kind and understanding souls - now the trans-activists that really are not looking out for these vulnerable people are simply pushing a malevolent and money-driven (amonst other things) agenda.

Long- may people such as yourself continue to bravely and honestly examine and speak-out against this rot.

I've written this off the cuff, so I will no doubt have missed some of the subtlety and nuance of these cases, but I felt moved to respond.

Sending all the well wishes and warmth I can in hoping most of all you can feel at peace and sod any silly labels that really just don't cover the complexity or uniqueness of who you (or indeed any of us) are.

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Thank you for saying that. There absolutely is a link but it is verboten to speak of it or do research on it. It's too bad. Bryan is one of the lucky ones.

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Thanks for sharing your story here and on the PITT substack, Bryan. I look forward to reading more of your posts here. Your voice is important in this debate.

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Thank you for sharing.

It seems that many that are in this childhood phase of questioning ( not as if we all didn't question at least one thing in our teens!) habe what would previously be termed mental health issues and not really gender confusion.

So the question is how do we get back to people being treated did their mental health first and foremost?

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Well said!

It's difficult to have conversations with people who are in a cult. But I agree that there are a lot of people who are still persuadable.

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Thank you for sharing your story. Might a make a shameless request that you donate to Protectkidsca.com initiative. This will have a ripple effect if we can get it on the ballot. Please encourage your friends and family to do the same. Thank you for considering. Take care.

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Thank you for sharing this. It is all relevant. I hope you reconnected with your family, or some of them at least.

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